This article got lost on its way to either the Sunday Style Section of the New York Times (you know, the one printed on special paper so that ladies don’t get their fingers dirty) or perhaps to the equally revolting “WSJ. Magazine,” home of fat wristwatches and shoes-so-soft-they-won’t-stand-up-without-feet-in-them. It appeared on the front page (okay, below the fold) of America’s newspaper of record.

It describes the latest celebrity accessory: a title.

Silly you, you thought we didn’t have titles in the United States. Egalitarians that we are, we abolished dukes, lords, earls and baronets some centuries ago.

Fooled you: we kept some. Have you heard of senators, congressmen and ambassadors? All of them have titles for life.

With the assistance of a splendid public relations firm like SKDKnickerbocker, you too might be able to buy yourself a nice title to accessorize your image along with your soft shoes and fat watch.

Young, Rich and Relocating Yet Again in Hunt for Political Office

Some excerpts to give you the gist.

“Two years ago, Sean Eldridge and his husband, the Facebook co-founder Chris Hughes, bought a $5 million estate in Garrison, about 50 miles north of New York City. It offered 80 acres of rolling fields and a farmhouse once owned by a Vanderbilt. It would also allow Mr. Eldridge, 26, to run for the local Congressional seat if he chose to.”

“But that seat appeared unattainable, and soon the couple’s gaze shifted north, to the neighboring district on the other side of the Hudson River. In January, they bought a $2 million modern home here overlooking a reservoir, laying the groundwork for Mr. Eldridge’s campaign for their new local Congressional seat, New York’s 19th.”

New York’s 19th would be the tan one just above the purple one just above Westchester, just above Manhattan and Long Island.

Key excerpt here:

“A few months ago, he quietly moved an investment firm he owns to the small city of Kingston, and, with the help of SKDKnickerbocker, a public relations agency based in Manhattan, has begun directing attention to his interest in making investments in local businesses.”

“Since late last year, the firm has provided at least $800,000 in loans to businesses in the district, including Bread Alone bakery and Prohibition Distillery. And Mr. Eldridge has dug into his own pocket, donating $250,000 to a $1 million effort in the district to build a 3-D printing technology center at SUNY New Paltz.”

Ready for a surprise?

I hope Sean Eldridge wins because, if he does, he will actually have to do the job for at least two years. And what is that job?

He is likely to be a junior member of the minority party in the House of Representatives, where he will spend 40% to 50% of his time in a tiny cubicle “dialing for dollars” by calling people he does not know from a list provided by a fundraising consultant.

Or he could buy a seat in the House of Lords and get a real title.