Gentlemen, we have a problem. We are being rated online thanks to a “ladies only” app called Lulu. It is not going well.

Lucky me, I learned about this dreadful development from Deborah Schoeneman in her New York Times article entitled “What’s he really like? Check the Lulu App.”

Others who fall into a category known as “comparably gendered” have learned about Lulu the hard way thanks to drop down hashtags that trigger 1 to 10 ratings for the hapless lads. These include: #NeverSleepsOver, #FriendZone, #KinkyInTheRightWays, #PornEducated, #DudeCanCook, #TallDarkAndHandsome, #CleansUpGood,  #TemperTantrums, #ObsessedWithHisMom and #WanderingEye. No doubt there are others, but the article was in the New York Times.

Social scientists might wonder why any guy would ever get a high rating since any lady who was inclined to provide one might well want to keep the information to herself.

According to its website, “We created Lulu to unleash the value of girl talk and to empower girls to make smarter decisions on topics ranging from relationships to beauty and health.”

“Lulu is a private network for girls to express and share their opinions openly and honestly. In our first iteration, Lulu is a private app for girls to read and create reviews of guys they know.”

The founders of the Lulu App did not seem to include any #dudes.

Fellas, something needs to be done. We need a deflection plan. We have to take their minds off rating us by giving them something to skewer that is even more odious than we are.

You got it: politicians and the toady publicists and strategists who serve them.

The business plan is simple. libertyPell provides the booze, you provide the hashtags. The rest is easy.

According to Ms. Schoeneman’s article, “There’s an element of behavior modification that we’re hearing and seeing,” she said. “When we do sessions at colleges, we ask guys, ‘Have any of you changed since Lulu launched?’ Hands go up.”

Our deflection plan might save not only ourselves but also our country.

#twofer

Hashtags can also be suggested by comment. Boys and girls welcome.