Among the casualties of the breakup of Francois Hollande and Valérie Trierweiler were a number of pretty good words that were distorted beyond meaning by spinners for both.

Here are a few that were used by Alissa J. Rubin in her New York Times piece France’s President Announces Split With His Companion.

“I have ended the shared life I had with Valérie Trierweiler.” Shared life?

Mistress became companion.

Affair became relationship.

Public relations clusterf.ck became melodrama.

I am so mad I am going to have Lorena Bobbitt flown to Paris became emotional collapse.

First lady was never the case. Valérie was the second and many would argue no lady.

I am calling Robert Gates for help with my memoir became return to private life.

And, finally, make like a hockey team and get the puck out of here became travel to India for my charity.

Those words that gave their lives will be mourned as we thank them for their splendid service and the humor they provided.