The World’s Best Toyota Salesman

Conjure in your mind the image of a terrorist who is sometimes called a fighter. If the latter there is often a prefix like ISIS, for example.

The image rarely varies from a young male whose face is hidden by a bandanna or a ski mask. Sometimes he has the semblance of a uniform but more often a T-shirt and blue jeans. He stands on the back of a pickup truck with his hands on a spectacular machine gun. Often the pickup truck is white though it can be black. It might have a flag flying from a tall whippy antenna.

One part never varies.

The pickup truck is always a Toyota.

Who is the lucky Toyota salesman assigned to the Middle East terrorist market?

How did he get the business?

Is he on commission?

Does he solicit customer feedback?

What is the sales pitch?

What features and benefits does he describe?

What drawbacks does he have to overcome?

Is there a competition from other pickup truck makers?

Where do the terrorists take their trucks to be serviced?

Does the warranty cover damage by IED’s (improvised explosive devices a.k.a. roadside bombs)?

Does Toyota provide financing?

Are the trucks built to unique specifications?

Why are there no journalists asking?


6 Responses to “The World’s Best Toyota Salesman”

Sellers, November 05, 2019 at 5:46 pm said:

I think you may have missed your calling: the questions are Seinfeld-esque. Now if you can turn the answers into a monologue…


Haven Pell, November 05, 2019 at 6:03 pm said:

whether I deserve it or not, thank you.


Marc L, November 06, 2019 at 2:15 pm said:

Ha, I recently binge-watched Narcos and was thinking the same thing about druglords. The Landcruiser is really the best vehicle for difficult environments: Much more reliable and easy to fix than than Land Rovers, but equally good at handing challenging terrain when fleeing the DEA and CIA or merely going down long, unpaved driveways to palatial desert hideaways.


Haven Pell, November 06, 2019 at 7:50 pm said:

This is a big market for Toyota and they seem to happily match designs to environments.


Mac Norton, November 12, 2019 at 11:37 am said:

I have traveled to Panama for a number of years, and I noticed that the preferred vehicle for those driving in remote and jungle areas was the Toyota Hilux, a model not available in the US but similar to the Land Cruiser. The end of a long Wikipedia article on the Hilux offers the following:

Due to its durability and reliability, the Toyota Hilux, along with the larger Toyota Land Cruiser, has become popular among militant groups in war-torn regions as a technical. According to terrorism analyst Andrew Exum, the Hilux is “the vehicular equivalent of the AK-47. It’s ubiquitous to insurgent warfare.”[65] U.S. counter-terror officials have inquired with Toyota how the Salafi jihadist extremist group Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant has apparently acquired large numbers of Toyota Hiluxes and Land Cruisers. Mark Wallace, the CEO of the Counter Extremism Project said, “Regrettably, the Toyota Land Cruiser and Hilux have effectively become almost part of the ISIS brand.”[66]

The 1980s Toyota War between Libya and Chad was so named because of the heavy, very successful use of Hilux trucks as technicals.[65]


Haven Pell, November 12, 2019 at 12:41 pm said:

Well, there is a contribution to the discussion. Thank you. Why not impose sanctions on Toyota?


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